How to Fire Someone the Right Way

11 MIN READ

By Desi Mayner | Mayner Leadership

Firing someone is one of the hardest responsibilities you will ever have as a business owner or leader.

It should be.

We are talking about a person’s job, income, family and future. If terminating someone becomes easy for you, you probably need to check your leadership.

But there is another side to this.

Keeping someone in a role when you already know they cannot or will not meet the expectations of that role is not kindness. It is avoidance.

And avoidance is not leadership.

It hurts the employee. It frustrates your strong performers. It creates confusion. It lowers standards. And eventually, everyone else starts wondering why they are being held accountable when someone else clearly is not.

Leadership requires Absolute Accountability.

That means you own everything and everyone in your world that affects the mission. That includes the wins, losses, problems and solutions.

So before you decide an employee has failed, you have to first ask a harder question:

Did I lead them well?

Then, if expectations were clear, coaching was provided, accountability occurred, and the problem still did not change, a leader must have the conviction to make the decision.

Here is how to do it clearly, fairly and respectfully.

In This Article

• 3 Reasons Team Members Fail in Their Role

• 7 Reasons to Fire an Employee

• A Step-by-Step Guide for How to Fire Someone Legally (and Respectfully)

• 3 Phrases to Avoid When You Fire Someone

• What Comes After the Firing

• What’s Next: Remember the Golden Rule

• Frequently Asked Questions

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3 Reasons Team Members Fail in Their Role

Businesses do not win because they have people.

They win because they have the right people, clearly understanding their roles, working together to accomplish an agreed-upon common objective.

You can like someone personally and still recognize they are not succeeding professionally.

But before you immediately blame the employee, detach from the situation and evaluate what is actually happening.

Most performance failures fall into three categories.

1. Leadership Failure

This is where Absolute Accountability has to start.

Before saying:

“They just aren’t getting it.”

Ask:

“What have I don, or failed to do, that contributed to this?”

Did you clearly explain the role?

Did you define what success looks like?

Did you train them?

Did you give them feedback?

Did you address problems early?

Did you give them the tools, resources and authority necessary to succeed?

Did you follow up?

This is where the Law of Inform, Update & Clarify matters.

One of the biggest leadership mistakes I see in small businesses is assuming people understand expectations simply because the leader said something once.

That is not communication.

No understanding = no execution.

Your responsibility as the leader is to:

• Hire people who fit the role and your culture

• Clearly define responsibilities and expectations

• Establish measurable standards

• Teach, train and equip your people

• Provide consistent feedback

• Address conflict quickly

• Have difficult conversations early

• Clarify what needs to change and by when

• Follow up

Don't confuse accountability with punishment.

Accountability means telling people the truth about where they stand and giving them an opportunity to improve.

Before firing someone, ask yourself:

Have I done everything reasonably within my leadership responsibility to help this person succeed?

If the answer is no, fix your leadership first.

If the answer is yes, you may have a different problem.

2. Personal Problems

Your employees are people before they are employees.

Life happens.

Family problems happen.

Health concerns happen.

Relationships fall apart.

Financial problems happen.

People experience loss, stress and situations you may know absolutely nothing about.

Good leaders have enough awareness to recognize when someone's behavior or performance suddenly changes.

Maybe a normally engaged employee becomes quiet.

Maybe someone who always hits deadlines starts missing them.

Maybe their energy changes.

Maybe their attitude changes.

Don't immediately attack the symptom.

Have a conversation.

Ask what is going on.

That does not mean you eliminate expectations. It means you lead with both humility and awareness.

You can care about the person while still protecting the mission.

Those two things are not mutually exclusive.

Sometimes the right leadership move is temporary flexibility.

Sometimes it is additional support.

Sometimes expectations need to be adjusted for a short period.

And sometimes the personal problem has continued long enough that it is negatively affecting the employee, team and organization.

That requires another conversation.

Leadership requires balance.

Grace without accountability creates lowered standards. Accountability without grace destroys relationships.

Your job is to determine what the situation requires.

Ask yourself:

Is this person experiencing a temporary problem they can work through, or has the problem become a permanent obstacle to successfully performing the role?

Then communicate clearly.

3. Incompetence

Nobody is great at everything.

That is normal.

The problem occurs when someone cannot successfully perform the responsibilities they were hired to perform.

Before labeling someone incapable, determine whether you are dealing with a skill problem or a will problem.

A skill problem sounds like:

“I don't know how.”

That may be solved through teaching, training, coaching, repetition or better systems.

A will problem sounds like:

“I know what to do, but I'm not going to consistently do it.”

That is much harder to fix.

This is where Distribute & Empower becomes important.

You should teach, train, equip and empower your people to succeed.

But empowerment does not mean lowering expectations.

Eventually, the employee has to own the role.

You cannot permanently compensate for someone else's lack of execution.

Ask yourself:

If this position were open today and I knew everything I currently know about this person, would I hire them for this role again?

That question forces clarity.

Also ask:

• Do they understand the expectations?

• Have performance problems been clearly communicated?

• Is the problem trainable?

• Have they demonstrated improvement?

• Are they willing to be coached?

• Can they succeed in another role within the organization?

Don't move someone just because you are afraid to terminate them.

But don't fire someone who could thrive in a different seat simply because they struggled in the wrong one.

Detach.

Evaluate.

Then decide.

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7 Reasons to Fire an Employee

There is rarely a perfect moment to fire someone.

Leaders often delay because they want more certainty.

Another week.

Another conversation.

Another chance.

Sometimes that is appropriate.

Sometimes it is simply avoidance disguised as patience.

Once you have clearly identified the problem, communicated expectations, provided appropriate opportunities for correction, and determined that the situation is not improving, you have to Prioritize & Execute.

There are many legitimate reasons employment may need to end, including:

1. Sexual harassment, bullying, violence or serious safety concerns

2. Theft, dishonesty, falsification or other unethical behavior

3. Intentional or serious damage to company property

4. Significant dishonesty during the hiring process

5. Continued poor performance or excessive attendance problems

6. Drug or alcohol use that violates company policy

7. Repeated or serious violations of company standards and policies

Some situations require coaching.

Some require progressive accountability.

Others, especially serious safety, legal or integrity issues, may require immediate action.

This is why your company needs clear policies and expectations before problems happen.

Don't create the rules in the middle of the game.

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A Step-by-Step Guide for How to Fire Someone Legally (and Respectfully)

Once the decision has been made, the goal is not to make the conversation painless.

You can't.

Your goal is to make it clear, concise, respectful and professional.

Before terminating an employee, make sure you understand the applicable employment laws and your company's obligations.

Employment laws can vary depending on your state, circumstances, policies, contracts and the reason for termination. When there is any uncertainty, involve a qualified HR professional or employment attorney.

And document appropriately.

Good documentation is not about building a case against someone.

It is about maintaining clarity around:

• Expectations

• Performance

• Conversations

• Coaching

• Warnings

• Commitments

• Follow-up

• Decisions

Good leaders do not operate on:

“I think we talked about that sometime.”

They operate with clarity.

A few situations deserve special attention:

• If someone is early in employment: Don't ignore obvious warning signs because you hope things magically improve. Coach quickly, clarify expectations and evaluate whether the fit is right.

• If there is a serious integrity issue: Situations involving theft, deliberate dishonesty, violence or major breaches of trust may require immediate action.

• If you're angry: Detach before making the decision or having the conversation. Leadership requires discipline. Never make an emotional permanent decision because of a temporary emotional reaction.

Once you are confident the decision is appropriate, move forward.

Step 1: Have a security plan in place to cut their technology access.

Protect the business.

Before the meeting, identify every system the employee can access:

• Email

• Company software

• Cloud storage

• CRM

• Banking or financial platforms

• Customer information

• Remote access

• Passwords

• Building access

• Company devices

Coordinate with whoever manages those systems so access can be removed at the appropriate time.

This isn't about assuming someone will retaliate.

It is simply good operational discipline.

Hope is not a security strategy.

Step 2: Make sure their role is covered.

The employee may leave today.

Their responsibilities won't.

Before the termination conversation, identify:

What stops if this person stops working right now?

Then determine:

• Who temporarily owns their responsibilities?

• What deadlines are approaching?

• Which customers need attention?

• What projects are currently moving?

• What information needs to be transferred?

• What responsibilities are mission-critical?

This is Prioritize & Execute.

First, protect the mission-critical work.

Then redistribute responsibilities.

Next, create the long-term replacement plan.

Do not let one personnel decision create five operational problems.

Step 3: Choose the best timing.

Once the decision is final and everything is prepared, don't unnecessarily drag the situation out.

Handle it professionally and promptly.

Choose a time that allows:

• Privacy

• Appropriate leadership or HR representation

• Immediate system-access changes

• Time to answer reasonable questions

• A controlled transition

The objective is not to find the perfect time.

The objective is to create the most professional environment possible for a difficult conversation.

Step 4: Keep the firing conversation short and controlled.

This is where Keep It Simple matters.

Complexity kills clarity.

Don't walk into the meeting and spend 10 minutes discussing the weather because you are uncomfortable.

Be respectful.

Be direct.

Be clear.

Something as simple as this works:

“John, we've discussed the performance expectations of this role several times, including the changes that needed to occur. Unfortunately, those expectations have not been consistently met, so we've made the decision to end your employment effective today.”

Then stop.

Allow them to respond.

You do not need a 25-minute speech.

You don't need to relitigate every mistake from the last two years.

And you don't need to convince them to agree with your decision.

A few important principles:

• Prepare what you are going to say. Write down your main points so emotion does not hijack the conversation.

• Have another appropriate leader or HR representative present.

• Stay calm. Their emotions do not determine yours.

• Don't argue. Listen, acknowledge and stay focused.

• Don't introduce new information. If performance is the reason for termination, the employee ideally should already know there has been a performance problem.

• Be concise. Clear beats comfortable.

Leadership requires conviction.

You can be compassionate without becoming unclear.

Step 5: Share severance details and allow time for questions.

Once the decision has been communicated, explain the next steps.

Depending on your organization and situation, that may include:

• Final compensation

• Severance

• Benefits information

• Unemployment information

• Company property

• Personal belongings

• Technology

• Keys or access cards

• Expense reimbursement

• Any remaining administrative requirements

Give the employee an opportunity to ask reasonable questions.

If you don't know an answer, don't guess.

Tell them who will provide the information and how it will be communicated.

Inform. Update. Clarify.

Even though the employment relationship is ending, good communication still matters.

Finish professionally.

Wish them well.

Then allow them to move forward.

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3 Phrases to Avoid When You Fire Someone

Sometimes leaders say too much because silence makes them uncomfortable.

Don't.

When emotions are high, unnecessary words create unnecessary problems.

Avoid these three statements.

1. “You’ll be happy about this decision later.”

Maybe they will.

Maybe they won't.

Either way, that is not your call to make.

They are processing what happened today.

Don't try to manufacture a positive ending because you feel uncomfortable.

Be empathetic without trying to control how they should feel.

2. “It’s as hard on us as it is on you.”

It isn't.

The decision may be emotionally difficult for you.

It may create additional work.

Your team may feel the impact.

But you are not the person who just lost their job.

Don't make the employee responsible for making you feel better about a decision you made.

Own it.

That is Absolute Accountability.

3. “If there’s anything I can do, let me know.”

Only offer what you actually mean.

Don't make vague promises because they sound compassionate.

If there is something specific you are genuinely willing and able to do, communicate it clearly.

If not, simply be respectful.

Sincere candor beats empty kindness.

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What Comes After the Firing

The termination meeting may be over.

Your leadership responsibility isn't.

Now you have to lead the rest of the team.

Depending on the situation, create an appropriate plan for the former employee to collect their personal belongings and return company property.

Then communicate with the team.

Your employees will have questions.

Some may be surprised.

Others may have seen it coming for months.

Some may be relieved.

Some may be frustrated.

Some may have lost a friend.

This is another moment for Inform, Update & Clarify.

Tell the team what they need to know while protecting the privacy and dignity of the person who left.

Do not turn the termination into gossip.

Don't give unnecessary details.

Don't trash the former employee to justify your decision.

Instead, communicate what matters:

• The person is no longer with the company.

• The decision was made thoughtfully.

• Responsibilities have been reassigned.

• Here is what happens next.

• Here is who owns what.

• Here is where questions should go.

Then lead forward.

This is also an important time to Debrief.

Ask:

What can we learn from this?

Was the wrong person hired?

Was the role unclear?

Did training fail?

Did leaders avoid difficult conversations?

Did you tolerate behavior too long?

Did your accountability process work?

Was there an organizational issue that contributed?

The purpose of a debrief is not to assign blame.

It is to improve the system.

Every difficult leadership situation should make the organization better if you are willing to learn from it.

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What’s Next: Remember the Golden Rule

You can fire someone and still treat them with dignity.

Those are not opposing ideas.

The best leaders understand that accountability and respect belong together.

Put yourself on the other side of the table.

If you were being terminated, you would probably want:

Clarity.

Privacy.

Respect.

Truth.

Professionalism.

You would want to know where you stood.

You would want the person across from you to look you in the eye and communicate clearly.

Give people the same thing.

And remember this:

The termination conversation should rarely be the first time someone learns there is a problem.

That is where leadership happens long before firing becomes necessary.

Set expectations.

Communicate consistently.

Give feedback.

Teach.

Train.

Equip.

Empower.

Hold people accountable.

Have the difficult conversation when the problem is small instead of waiting until the problem becomes enormous.

That is leadership.

And sometimes, after you have done all of that, leadership still requires you to let someone go.

When that happens, have the humility to evaluate your own leadership, the conviction to make the right decision, the discipline to handle it correctly, and the character to treat the person with dignity.

Absolute Accountability means owning the whole situation—not just blaming the person being fired.

Own your leadership.

Own the decision.

Own the transition.

Then lead your team forward.

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Frequently Asked Questions

How do you fire an employee legally?

If you’re in an at-will employment state, you don’t need a reason to fire someone—but you should always have a valid reason. The cost to release someone, in both money and morale, can be significant.

Even in at-will employment states, you still have to follow federal, state and local regulations. Always document why you’re terminating someone. If the decision is ever challenged legally, your documentation helps show that the termination was justified and handled appropriately.

Do employers have to give a reason for termination?

If you’re in an at-will employment state, you don’t necessarily need to give a reason to fire someone—but you should always have a valid, legitimate and documented reason for making the decision.

What are five fair reasons for dismissal?

1. Sexual harassment, bullying, violence or safety concerns

2. Unethical behavior such as stealing, lying or falsifying documents

3. Lying on a job application

4. Poor job performance or excessive absences

5. Drug or alcohol use that violates company policy

Additional reasons may include damage to company property or other serious violations of company policies, including social media policies.

How do you fire someone you like?

No matter how much you like someone personally, eventually they have to perform their role well or move on.

Once you’ve made the decision to release them, follow these five steps for firing someone the right way:

Step 1: Have a security plan in place to cut their access to company technology, systems and the building.

Step 2: Make sure their role and responsibilities are covered by coworkers, temporary help or a contracted worker.

Step 3: Choose the best timing. Once the decision is final, don’t drag it out unnecessarily. Handle it as soon as reasonably possible in a professional and controlled setting.

Step 4: Keep the firing conversation short, clear and controlled.

Step 5: Share severance, benefits and transition details, and allow time for reasonable questions.